Today would be my parents’ 61st wedding anniversary if they were still here today.  They cherished October 6^th every year and always made a point to honor the day and celebrate the family they created. My parents dedicated themselves to the family and rarely ever spent any free time apart.  They set the groundwork for success and my siblings and I are so grateful for the amazing childhoods we had.  Lots of changes with our constant moves but that made us who we are.   We are all still close to each other today, as are all our kids as cousins.  Here is an excerpt from the Remarks of Remembrance I wrote and delivered at their funeral mass last September which summarizes the type of marriage they had and the family life they created.

As we gather here today in this church, it takes me back to my first memories of going to church as a family.  This parish, St. Margaret is where our faith journey as a family began.  My brothers Ray and Rich were baptized in the baptistry which was in the atrium in the very front portion of this church and my sister Cheryl and I made our First Holy Communion here at this very alter. I remember as a young child stepping into this church and being in awe of the grand ceilings, the stained glass, and the large crucifix hanging above the alter. It was a wonderous place, and I just knew that Jesus was present here.  It seems fitting that we’d be in this very place as a family today with both our parents together, honoring them with this funeral mass, just a few weeks before their 60^th wedding anniversary.

We don’t get to choose our parents and as a family of four children, I will say we were very fortunate to have the upbringing that our parents created for us.  Mom and Dad came from very humble beginnings but as a couple, there was nothing they couldn’t do.  They worked tirelessly as a team and everything they did was to build a strong family.  

Just as Jesus said, “Love One Another, as I have loved you”, Mom and Dad were the embodiment of that love.  They were the ethical and moral compass for our family and lived their lives true to their core values of honesty, integrity, trust, and love. 

As the oldest, I was the lucky one who got to spend the most time on earth with them.  I also have the most memories and got to watch as our family grew.  I saw firsthand how hard my parents worked together and the sacrifices they made to make it the best life possible for us.

Dad being pragmatic, continued to make career decisions that would put his family in the best possible position he could provide.  Mom was right there by his side and together they made some difficult choices that would uproot our family and take us to many corners of the country.  As a family of six with many pets, this was not an easy feat, but Mom organized these moves, and every decision was made for the benefit of giving us the best opportunities.  Mom would research the best schools, the best neighborhoods, sports teams, and other activities.  We spent many a first day of school living out of motel rooms but that is just how we rolled.  These moves and life experiences shaped us as resilient, open minded, and well-rounded people.  Try attending three different high schools in three different parts of the country! 

Mom and Dad instilled in us the importance of marriage and family from the very beginning and despite my dad’s very demanding job, he was always there to support us by coaching our sports teams, assisting with schoolwork, or attending practices and games.  Every one of us could look up in the stands at any of our games and see dad sitting there.  It didn’t matter if he had an important meeting or things at work to attend to, he put his family first.  Mom was dedicated to making our life experience its fullest.  She would take us to events all over town, drive us to practices and brought home several pets for us to nurture. We always had a full menagerie and she loved surprising us with new animals.  Mom served our family with pride and did many things in the community to help others.   She participated in making casseroles for the church, teaching religious education classes, shopping for the elderly and just being a great friend and listener.  She had the gift of gab and wouldn’t leave a store without meeting someone new.  She always made everyone she met feel welcomed and cared for.

As we gather here today, we can look back and be amazed at what our parents, Mary and Ray were able to achieve.  Family was the core of every action they took, and these strong family values were passed onto us.  Our parents believed that with hard work and a purpose you could achieve anything, and they certainly made it look easy.  Dad provided many lessons on saving for the future and was always mentoring us to be the best we could be.  My mother with her compassionate caring heart taught us the value of making everyone you meet feel loved and we all try to carry that spirit with us every day wherever we go.   My parents’ story is a tale of true love and how two people could come together and work to build a strong marriage and family.  They did everything together and every action was for the betterment of our family.  We were taught strong family values through example and these experiences and words of wisdom still resonate with us today and have formed the people we are.  

Mom and Dad’s reach went well beyond the family and impacted people they worked with and interacted with.  All our friends as kids would love hanging out with our parents and many of you are here today with us.   So, as we celebrate their lives today let us reflect on the positive and be in awe of how Mary and Ray lived.   We were all fortunate to have known them and they have graced us with their love.   They built a tremendous legacy and now it is up to us to carry that legacy forward with love and compassion.   We thank you all for gathering with us today.  We can truly feel your love and support and are grateful to have such wonderful family and friends surrounding us.  Let us honor Mary and Ray through this celebration as they are laid to rest together.  Together forever as it was always meant to be.

So cheers to Mom and Dad! We hope they are proud of what we’ve been up to since they’ve been gone as we do our best to carry their legacy forward. We will always honor this day.